"I regret to inform you, but your breasts are so small they will not fit into the scanner."
Ah, gone are the days of the size 16 plus. They did fit today, mine that is - and it was still uncomfortable. Although the radiographer complimented me on her ease of getting them in there. Well now, can you find them?
Just a brief aside here, I was recently measured professionally, for a bra, and they insisted on me having this underwired uplift bra. Well it was like having a thing with teeth fastened on to my body, I was aware of it all the time, it drove me mad, Yes, I had uplift, yes I had a noticeable bosom, but I was in agony. Anyone else feel like that?
But I am so thrilled I could do a cartwheel, perhaps not, but I no longer have to have the smear test. They would get you on your back, legs up, LET THE KNEES FLOP, and then open the door to go off and find the specula/um (?) While the waiting room looked on.
After skipping down the steps of the mobile home parked in the hospital car park, yay, I returned to my art group. The male members of which were looking totally bemused as to my sudden absence and return, while the female members nodded sagely.
We had a fantastic demonstration from the lady on the left, of loose watercolour painting.
For some of us this was a complete re-think. As opposed to building up your colour, you sploshed it on and then lifted it. Wowee. (Would that one could do that with a bra, splosh then lift - actually thats probably a good description!)
And ended up with this totally vibrant, painting that just sang.
Cannot wait to have a go, but instead I was back up the health centre for the flu jab.
No, I did not understand any of this either. But being one of the persons at most risk, I went along and had the needle in the arm.
"Have you had sickness and the squits in the last 2 weeks?"
No.
"On antibiotics?"
No.
"Allergic to eggs?"
No.
Jab.
"Go and sit in the waiting room for 4 minutes before leaving."
Me -What am I looking out for?
Nurse "I am not telling you, but you will know!"
So I did, and eyed up the others who had just had the jab. After a while we all decided none of us were about to foam at the mouth, so got up and left.
Just testing.
5 comments:
I wonder what reaction you might have had...the squits ?
I had horrible smear test results for years - so depressing & lots of treatment in those bloody stirrups so I asked for a hystarectomy - that was thirteen years ago & I've never looked back
(no smears + no periods = joy !)
I always wear an underwired bra & they only annoy me when I put on weight & they are too tight !
There - you know all about my ladies' bits now !!! Ha !
Does the Dawn Patroller read your Blog ?
Yes, Penny, he does. We have no secrets (well....)
Hilarious post as always, Jill. Thank you for the laugh. I have a battle with bra-fitters every time. They want me in a Barbarella / Madonna under-and-over-wired contraption and I refuse. They mutter dark warnings and I say, yes, I know, but I won't wear that. Just please measure me.
I'm glad the new watercolour technique is useful and requires no wires.
ah the DP knows all my intimate details then ! Husband reads my Blog sometimes but always looks guilty & as though he shouldn't !
Hey Dawn Patroller ...
your lovely wife wants the ginger kitten ... or even two !!!
Flu jab - done. At our Doctor's they give you the leaflet after you've had the jab!
Mammogram - up to date. (Do you want some of my upper half - I've more than enough.)
Wired bras - the wire always works itself loose!
Down below - up to date. Can't tell you the funny story about that one in public though!
Thanks for the laugh.
Love from Mum
xx
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