Friday 18 March 2011

Who knows what this is?


The second picture was shown last night as part of the Primary School Quiz. Our rotary club organises this every year for our area.
This was last night at the nearby indoor bowling alley. Not your ten pin bowling, oh no, this is the purple rinse, white cardigan and pumps brigade. With bowling on a green. And all deadly serious. Not sure whether this is a Scottish thing, but I have never come across indoor green bowling before. Very popular, the place was packed. This was 6p.m.
We had ten teams competing for this round, the winners go onto compete against other districts, until there is a champion school.
We had to set up the tables and chairs for the contestants. Rows of chairs for the parents - at a suitable distance so as to reduce any parental guidance!
Although that didnt stop one grandma, who had obviously taught her grandson to lip read, until I cottoned on and glared at her. I couldnt work out why this child was gazing steadfastly at the bar, beyond where the parents were and then as if he had received a word from above wrote down the answer. So I turned to look at the bar and there was this white haired glam gran, clutching her gin and tonic, gazing fixedly back at the boy.
Then there was the surreal moment of one of the teachers leaping across the room, grabbing a piece of paper, waving it aloft and shouted, "This was on the table before we started!"
This was a list of words, which just happened to be the words the kids were being asked to spell.
Turned out we had recycled the scrap paper from last year and the words were the same on both spelling questions, this year and last! Whoops. I think that was my fault being keen on recycling, but you would have thought whoever collected the paper up would have ensured there was no writing on it. So we had to scrap the spelling question wholesale.
I was unofficially supervising the table with the lip reader and three mates, who were a bit rowdy. If they didnt know the answer they were egging each other on to write something silly for the answer.
I have to own up in that I do enjoy the company of most children and had all on to try and remain serious, but it isnt in me. I had all on not to join in.
However, back to the picture. One lad had it as a small cabbage, the brains of the foursome looked doubtful, but for once was stumped. What normally happened was that he totally ignored the other three and wrote down the answer while they larked about and wound each other up.
But this time he was stumped. Meanwhile one of the three jokers was hitting himself on the forehead, "I know this, I know this, think, think, its something to do with the Jews."
The brains looked at him open mouthed, the other two fell about. They ended up with 'small cabbage.'
After the answer papers had been collected I had to tell him that he had been oh so nearly right.
Jerusalem Artichokes do not look like this. It is a tuber that is eaten. The picture is of a globe artichoke, and the leaves are eaten.
He looked at me in disbelief. When the official answers came forth, we exchanged a glance, and his face was a picture as he turned to his team , and said "I told you I knew that one."
It was the only question he got, nearly, right all evening.
My last job was to be the official photographer.
By this time I was exhausted. But I performed magnificently and the photographs are all fantastic. Problem is I was so out of it I forgot to ask which school each picture was of, or make a note of their logos on their sweat shirts. So come this morning and I am preparing to send them off to the local newspaper I realised my error. I know who the winners are as they are holding up the shield, but nine other lovely photographs, I havent a clue which school they belong to!
So -probably missed the deadline before I sort it all out.
Ordinarily I would have spent the rest of the day so doing, contacting all the schools, even driving round them clutching the photographs, but today was spent cleaning the house for paying guests in for the weekend, and supervising yet more furniture being taken away.
And tonights preparations, yet another quiz, this time for the adults. Mike has done all the questions, again for the Rotary, this time to raise funds.
I havent been out much in the evenings for some time, in fact a long time, and tonight will be my third night out in a row.
I am 62 on Monday and feel 92.
Oh, forgot the flowering artichoke picture. Years ago we holidayed in Britanny. We went twice, both times for two weeks, never ever before had we managed to holiday for two whole weeks, and it was wonderful. When we came to live here I really felt how much it was like Brittany. But no flowering artichokes. There, they were growing in the fields hundreds and hundreds of them, fantastic sight. Whilst there I bought some flowering and dried them and still have them.
Here I grow cardoons, which are somewhat smaller, and have dried their heads. You can eat them, but I havent.
Now that would make a good quiz question, show a picture of both and ask what are these.
Probably get, "Something to do with the jews and Donald Duck." (cardoons/cartoons geddit?)

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