Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Help wanted.

I am struggling to buy a bra.  You would think at my age I would be well experienced at this.  Well things, and boobs, change.

This is how you measure.  From this you do all sorts of mathematical calculations and decide whether you are a 36 B, C, D. Or whatever.

My boobs have been quite a lot of different measurements over the years.  Breast feeding for about six years (four children) you wonder how the human body can go out and in so many times without packing in.

Now why you measure above the bosoms remains a mystery.  Should I have taken that into my calculations?

As I got older and thinner, I wont say slimmer as that indicates muscle tone and I am not sure I have any of that.  I decided I would have a 'professional' measuring at a local emporium.  

Hordes of Women milling about, I think there was some special offer on at the time.  I was eventually ushered into a changing room, for privacy.  Only so far as my boobs not being seen by others, what went on in there was shouted out to the rest of the gathered females,  waiting to be measured,

"34 D Brenda!"

 34?  Even pre puberty I was never 34.  I swam a lot and developed quite a broad back.  But no, 34 .  Into the changing room came a selection of 34Ds.  

"Lean forward and drop them in."  "There! Isnt that an improvement?"  

Well they were certainly higher, but I couldnt breathe .  But assured I would feel better as I 'got used to it', I handed over more money than I had ever yet paid for a bra and essayed out.  After some weeks of feeling I had something or someone gripped on to my upper body I returned to the saggy things I had wanted to replace.  I breathed.

One major part of the new bras I could not get used to was the underwiring.  It was like some vice clamped onto my body, occasionally the soft flesh got trapped and I was for ever hoiking parts of me I had forgotten about for some years, back into this clamp.

Remember the Triumph Bras?  Where we all went to a point?  

And now we have the Balcony Bras.  Balcony Bras?  Most real women would be spilling over the balcony.

Why oh why can we not have something without underwire, that lifts and separates ( I seem to remember the dim and distant past of Cross Your Heart ? ) Comfortable. Yes.  No instruments of torture aka underwires ( and yes I did try and remove the bloody things, the bra then held nothing in.)  Looked more like a sandwich.

At my age - and size - I could probably forget about wearing a bra altogether, and yes, I was around in the burning your bra age, never did understand that particular campaign.  Point of yes, but not actually discarding the thing.

But there are occasions when I am not smothered by a hoodie or ten layers and want to feel feminine, without the PAIN.  



Lynn said...

I go to Marks and Spencers - am measured every time. I always go for no wire - lots of pretty styles and so so comfortable.
Worth travelling to if there is not one nearby but you do have to book an appointment.

Mum said...

I think men invented bras - take it off and let it all hang out!
Love from Mum

Anonymous said...

Loved your pics in this post, hahaha! You can still get cross your heart bras, but the best ever bras are by "Glamorise Magic Lift", (I know, the name is awful!) available online, but a bit expensive at around £30 each....ouch! I haven't bought one for eons, but they really are the best for comfort and support. I don't do underwires either, I don't see the sense in being jabbed in the ribs all day long. Ooyah! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I would have laughed at this post except I was filled with such recognition and sympathy! I have had so many arguments with fitters about underwires. I refuse to wear them. Like you, I've been told that a 34 is the best size for me, when 36 (as I wear at the moment) still leaves me with marks around my ribs at the end of the day. But at least I can breathe.

I personally have found success at John Lewis, with their non-wired bras. I ask them to measure me, state I will absolutely not wear underwires, and take it from there. I usually take the same cup size but next size up in terms of the number (e.g. they say 34, I go for 36). I've not had good experiences at M&S, despite their reputation.

I don't really drink but I would definitely recommend a good drink afterwards. And/or take a friend for moral support!

Anonymous said...

I hear your pain, I'm 56, not a big chested gal but average and I have found a brand of sports bra I like, its comfy and gives me the coverage I wish, I hate under wire and I prefer to not have two pointy cones pointing to the sky, good luck on your search, I love my big comfy hoodies! Good thing we have snow 7 months of the year

justjill said...

Phew, I am so glad you have all taken this in the spirit it was intended, me dear friends, we will draw lots of veils, dance of the 7 even over nasty comments of those who either have no bosoms nor a sense of humour. Or my desperation!

rusty duck said...

The other problem with wires is that they have a tendency to come out in the wash and get jammed in the works of the machine. It causes horrendous, and very expensive, problems to the innards.

Not to say embarrassing.. when some lovely Clooney-esque repair man recovers it from the back of the drum and asks what it could possibly be.

justjill said...

So why on earth do they put wires into bras? I had never thought of the washing machine potential, but have had the wire come out, stab me in the arm pit and then had to genteely and discreetly as I could remove it while trying not to scream (and in company of others.)

Marjorie said...

As for the wires, I put it to the fact bras are designed by males. I have had no comfort or pleasure in one in years and years. I am larger up there and wish I wasn't.

BadPenny said...

Did you get another nasty comment ? What a pain.

Jill your lovely blue hen painting arrived ! Wonderful & thank you so much.

The package got put in a pile ready for me to wrap - so imagine my surprise when I saw it was your painting for me !

Lovely, thank you Jill

Penny xx

justjill said...

Glad you like it Penny, I had just commented to you as I was getting worried it had got lost. x

justjill said...

Too right Marjorie, how can I access your blog?

Grammy Braxton said...

I can certainly understand this post. I am 61 and if it wasn't for sagging to my knees, I probably wouldn't bother to wear one. I hate, hate, hate to buy new bras so when I do find one that is comfortable I usually by 4 or 5 so I don't have to go through it again too soon. I also have to wear front hook bras because of deterioration in my shoulders (I can't reach behind my back). I hope you find a solution.