BIONIC.

Another bit of this old carcase sorted.  Some months ago a friend blew her top at me.  

"I am fed up of repeating myself.  Get your ears tested."

As the walls of the homestead vibrated when I was watching the t.v. with the sound up so I could hear what was being said, and still, frequently had to check with the Dawn Patroller as to what had been said, I finally went and had my  hearing tested.  

Ok, some months back on a visit to the GP for something totally unconnected I casually mentioned my struggle with following conversations.  Laughed it off and said, "Probably part of old age !"  

After looking in the ear oles for wax or other blockages and there were none I was - referred.  Today I met with Craig, the Audiologist.

Why was I surprised to be told I was actually deaf?  I had heard every bleep, squeak, ring through the head phones, I thought...... But no.  

So I am to get state of the art hearing aids.

In the next few weeks.  The Audiologist told me that the NHS in my area actually provided top of the range hearing aids.  That cost privately, wait for it, £3000.  

I was shown them.  Craig put them in his ear and you could not see them.  So not this trumpet or the pink plastic lumps I was envisaging.  In fact I had worked out in my head I would paint a picture on them as in my mind they were huge and obvious so I would have to do something to be ha ha humorous.

So.  Just the cataracts to sort.  March the 7th.  I have removed myself from any social interaction until then so ass to avoid any chest infections which would prevent me from having the operation.

After that I shall return to the world as the BIONIC WOMAN.  Fortunately I still have (most) of me teeth.